A little suprise.

I don't really know how to feel right now.

I just had a miscarriage.

I was about 8 weeks. I hadn't done a test, so I didn't really 'know' but I kind of figured. I was late, very late and I had several other tell tale signs that I chose to ignore because I had other things to concentrate on. I start medical school tomorrow.

I feel a few things. I feel sad, I mean that baby could have been a James or an Emily. I feel relieved, a baby was not what I had on the cards right now. I feel guilty, did I do this? Did me wanting not to be pregnant somehow make this happen?

It wasn't really the start to medical school I wanted. It started on Friday when I was at enrolment. Very heavy bleeding, I had to go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I knew what was happening yet I had to sit there and chat to all the other new students like it wasn't happening. I'm not quite sure how I managed. The baby came out tonight.

I have to be at uni at 9:30 tomorrow.

Should I tell mum and stuff? It seems a little strange to say, 'hey mum I was pregnant but I'm not now' It’s almost like it didn't happen.

Oh well.

Here's to a better day tomorrow.