I am so naughty

I am so naughty, for 2 reasons but I am only going to tell you one LOL. I should be hanging around waiting for my 2 pm prac class but alas I find myself on a train on the way home. I am rationalising it by saying that the pracs are interesting and all but I don't learn much (more apply what I already know) and the smell makes me dizzy and the examinations seem a little redundant as I know them pretty well because I made sure of it for last weeks osce. So here I am going home. I have other reasons too. I have to finish of my philosophy essay so I can hand it in tomorrow. I had a really late night last night and am already sleepy so don't want to have to pull a late one. Have I convinced you yet?

Since this seems to have become my new style of blogging (using my mobile on the train) I thought that I better sign up to that mobile bloggy thingo but they haven't sent a message back. Just another annoyance to add to the pile.

I have been thinking about 'stuff' lately (maybe philosophy is having an effect on me) and the more I think about it the more I believe that religion is just a load of shit. Not any particular one, all of them. They are quite hilarious when you look at them objectively. I was brought up a catholic but mum says that I have always been pretty areligious. I never really believed in any of it. I just did because I had to. I got 'confirmed' because I wanted a confirmation name. Rose seemed so much nicer to a 10 year old than my own name. It is pretty ridiculous expecting 10 year olds to 'confirm' that this is what they want to think for the rest of their lives. Orthodox churches can be even worse, both baptising and confirming in one hit as a baby. It doesn't really mean anything to confirm some thing if you don't have the mental capacity to know what you are confirming. I did try out some other religions when I was a teenager but I soon came to realise that it was the whole religion hat that just didn't fit. I was Wiccan for a while (a year or two) I didn't have as much of an issue with this as it was more self directed but I still didn't believe so I decided not to waste my time. I was walking to the train to uni a week or so ago and I have to walk past an Anglican church. They have a poster board out the front and change the posters periodically to try and convey their message. The one on this particular day had a picture of the solar system and an arrow point in to Earth. It had a caption that said 'this is his (gods) favourite one' or something of the like. It made me laugh out loud. If anything this would make stop believing in god rather than bringing followers in. I mean if gad created us and he created the entire universe firstly he is not going to just pick one tiny planet and say this is where you shall stay. He would be much more likely to not bother creating the rest of it or make the universe less sparsely populated. Or if he insisted that we all are here he could have at least given us spaceships.

I just walked home and the poster was still there so I took a pic of it for you.

Then there is the fundamentalist religions. Not any religion in particular, just those people that are really fanatical about their beliefs. It came to question whether bringing children up in a fundamentalist manner is child abuse in one of the forums I frequent. I don't see how someone can look at it in any other way. I am not talking about the parents that take their kids to church each week and send them to a religious school, we are talking about those that are completely fanatical and let their religion dictate every decision that they make about their kids. No child brought up in this way could possible come out the other end with a well rounded and realistic view of the world. It will impair their ability to function in society and there is no doubt in my mind that that is abuse. That goes for fundamentalist atheists too. I think it came up because of the fundamentalist sect in Texas that had all those children taken away recently. It really is abuse. The things that people do to others in the name of religion are absurd and we as a society should not stand back and accept it because it is done under the guise of ‘religion’.

OK I’ll get off my soap box now.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I hate cold rainy days!

Today on the way to uni, I got caught in a huge downpour. It wasn't even raining when I left home. I didn't take my leather trench coat (best rain coat ever!) but luckily I had my umbrella. I got out at museum and it was raining. Not too bad, just raining. I started to walk. Most of the walk I have to do is undercover, just one block at the beginning and one at the end. When I started to walk it started to piss down. It was raining sooooo hard. I got drenched. My jeans were wet to above the knees my brand new shoes were all squelchy and I was FREEZING. I was so wet that my pants didn't dry till about 3pm. Not only was there this torrential rain but I was struggling with the umbrella and some notes that I had to read as I had an exam this morning. Just my luck huh.

The exam went ok. It was an OSCE so nothing to scary. The station that I ended up with was a respiratory examination. I did pretty well on the practical stuff I only forgot 1 minor thing but then they had a question after it and the question was just WTF????????? and it wasn't just me, no one in my PBL had any idea what it was trying to ask yet alone the freaking answer. I felt so jipped. I had done really well on all the important stuff and then this one fucking ridiculous questions fucks up my mark (it was formative so the marks don't count towards anything but that doesn't mean that I don't want to do well.) I ended up with 15/20 as the question was worth 4 marks. It is just sooo annoying.

Ben (5yo nephew) has been staying with us for the last few days so it has been a little hectic around here. It will be nice when school goes back and some normality returns. Holidays are so hard when you don't have any time off. Emily has been getting left out a bit so I might take her for some special 'girl' time tomorrow after we take Ben to the airport.

Have I told you about my crazy sister? I mean Emma this time not Aimee. Well I just don't get her. A few weeks ago she just up and left her partner of 8 years (this is bens parents) and went chasing some girl she had a crush on to another state. The other girl had just been dumped (I don't know all the gritties). I don't really know what her thought processes were. She says that she wasn't unhappy or anything and she doesn't know why she did it. If you don't know why then why fucking do it??????? I don't know. It is just so annoying; she is so much like dad (not a good thing). I am just wired in a totally different way and I just don't get it. I guess I don't need to get it I just need to accept it.

Emo

I just read over all those posts because it has been a while since I wrote them, and those first two are so emo LOL.

I must have been having a bad week.

Just ignore my rambling.

Catch up

I know that it seems like I have been neglecting to blog but I really haven't I just haven't gotten around to posting things lately. I tend to type my posts on the train on my mobile but I just haven't gotten around to posting them on here yet. But here they are.

18/03/2008

I am starting to feel entirely out of my depth at med school. I am not sure what it is that makes me feel like this but I don’t like it. I don’t work on the weekends. This is the 3^rd one in a row. I do the work it isn't that hard but I never can remember anything. Everyone else can not only remember but apply all this stuff we have learnt. I don’t even know the easy stuff. Then there is the fact that l am not like any of them. I have an entirely different life and I am struggling with my priorities. I didn’t do any work on the weekend. That is the third one in a row. It is the only time I get to See the kids and relax so it is very hard to get motivated to do anything at all on a weekend. I mean I get one day with my Family and then David has to go to mums to work on Sunday & I am stuck with no car & 2 kids all day and night. It is not very inductive to study. The kids demand my attention all day and am just exhausted by the time they go to bed & just want to bludge. And when David goes he takes the laptop so I have to go upstairs to study and it is a little scary and alien when David is not home. (yes I know that i am a dag) Then I get to uni today & someone says ''I didn't do anything on the weekend' but then I find out she did 4 hours and this is just her interpretation of ''nothing" It made me reassess my own definitions and study ethos. I started a ''health kick' today. I really need to get a handle on it.

29/03/2008

I am isolated. My sister has run away. My husband is married to the computer. My children are beginning to have their own lives and my mother is too busy to talk. I am not right. I am just feeling overwhelmed. Everyone loves and supports me. It is me that has fallen in a hole. I just need to sleep.

04/04/2008

Well I am not feeling as bad as I did last week. I got over it. I mean I am still behind but I am not stressing as much as I have a plan. I had to do a presentation for stupid philosophy yesterday so a lot of my catch up time has been spent doing that and there is an essay plan due next week. Have I vented about how much I hate philosophy? I HATE philosophy. I remember when I was trying to decide on which uni to go to I thought the idea of doing philosophy theology and ethics was interesting but I was wrong. The people teaching it are tools. I guess you can't expect anything else when they devote their lives to thinking about other peoples thoughts. I like Gettier best of all the philosophers because all he wrote was a two and a half page thing really spaced out and set out with very concise mathematical like ideas. He only wrote it because he had to publish to get tenure. No waffle, no bitching about other philosophers or worse still sucking on their cocks. This is the way all philosophers should be. Some of the readings we have to do are so long and waffly that 60 page of a book can be summarised into one sentence, I kid you not. They are all just so convoluted and try to put things in such wording that can't be pulled apart by their peers that they end up being unable to say much at all. Our tutor is like you can’t just read a reading once you need to read it lots of times and really pull it apart. Just read it every night she says. Like we have the time for that. Hello doesn't she know that we are doing medicine? Spare time is non existent. Doesn't she know that we barely have time to scratch our arses yet alone stick our heads up someone else’s.

Gee I love a good rant

Till next time.

Today

Guess what. The kids are going to mums on Sunday and not coming home till Wednesday. It is school holidays and David’s break didn't match up at all and I don't get a mid-session break. So the kids are spending a few days with mum next week and the week after they will have a day with the other grandparents. Ben is flying down too so it should be good except that Ben is staying 6 nights so 3 of those will be at our house. I am kinda glad that I will get to go to uni during the days as the kids all go a bit feral when they are together. David is going to have fun.

In other news David and I have been talking about having another baby. After the miscarriage it kind of reminded me that I want to have another one (Or 2 but don't tell David as I don’t want to scare him). He is a lot more into the idea than he was a couple of years ago when I was pushing for it. It will be hard with uni and all but you know me 'just keep swimming' as a famous little fish once said.